Over the past 2 weeks I had seen for myself 2 traffic accidents around my camp. I almost got myself killed today. I was rather close to flying half way around orchard road today. I was crossing the road to wait for my bus.My bus came but the lights to cross still didnt change and i was waiting for the change to run for the bus. When the pedestrian lights turned green, I decided to right diagonally across the road junction for the bus.

Of course, at that point in time,I felt it was rather safe to cross.But I didnt realise that the taxi was moving off and the taxi driver apparently had to jam his brakes. I realised how close i was to being knocked down only after I got onto the bus. I did have to run very fast when I realised that the taxi was coming.

Joel scolded me for dashing across the road.He half expected to see me fly.It would have been quite a sight.But I am fine.If I was meant to die,I would have.Thanks for the concern Joel.

Just a rather morbid thought though.I did wonder after that if I had died,how people would remember me. If anyone besides my mom would actually cry. Life is rather twisted.

Once in a while someone is bound to burst your bubble.

It was made official today by the driving instructor that I suck as a driver.It was put across in a rather diplomatic manner.After taking me out on the road and not saying anything and after a series of near mishaps.He pulled the car over and sighed.Then he said,you fall way behind compared to people in your age group.Then he sighed again and said,you have to do something about it or else you are just gonna waste your money.

It was such a wonderful start to the lesson.Admittedly,I know I am a rather poor driver, my psycho-motor skills are haywired.I must have been dropped on my head as a baby.But to be the poorest in my age group.Aye!It was such a terrible lesson,he had to bring me back into the circuit to practise my steering and apparently my techniques were all wrong.How nice.

I feel like there are so many things going on in my life.yet,I find it so hard to find someone to share it with, without the feeling of being judged or without having to feel like I am wearing the person out with all my grouses.I wont say my life is incredibly busy.Just that I try to occupy myself and block out thoughts.It tires me out,it makes me moody and yes it makes me frustrated.But what else is there to do.

I have kept on looking for things to keep me going.Like goin to the gym regularly.Although some people are not exactly supportive of it.They think its gay.I tired looking to mix around with friends.Sometimes friends tire me out.I keep looking for something to get me on an emotional high.For now,its wakeboarding.Amidst all these interests,I know I am missing out on something.All this searching has got me no where.I know what I am missing.Or at least I think I know.But it means having to take a chance again.

I gotta admit,at this point in time,I am being a stubborn fool.I am filled with angst,frustration and complaints at this point.Yet,I resist the change.A fool I am and a fool I have been.I have had so mamy ideals about life and the way my life should be.I told a friend just this morn.The world is harsh on idealist,it has no place for idealist cos it makes you bitter about life.But until I realise the change I need,until I realise I need to give thanks for even the dew on the leaves and the little pleasures in life,I would still be a fool living a senseless life.You would be too.

Went to the little grocery shop in my estate the other to buy ice cream and guava juice.The grocery shop had been gone for quite a few years but its back again.Walking to the store to buy ice cream brought back memories of how I used to run to the grocery shop to buy ice cream.

I would use the money I had saved from my daily pocket money and when my mom was out,I would run to the store and buy myself an ice cream or two.I always had to ask my mom for permission before I could have ice cream and that was becuase I was asthmatic as a kid.So when I got the chance to,I would eat ice cream.That included making "secret" trips to the store to get my share of ice cream.It would always either have been connetto or the solero lime ice cream.When I was done with the ice cream,I would try and hide traces of my doings,by wrapping the ice cream stick or wrapper in tissue paper and hiding it in the rubbish bin.

That was as far as I went for being rebellious.Not much I know but I tried.The trip to the grocery store the other day however, was because I was locked out of my house when I didnt have the house key after I came back from my workout.A little peeved that I forgot the housekey,I went to the store to get myself some ice cream to occupy myself while waiting for someone to come home with the housekey.So much for memories.haha