~the tattoo that never really lasted~

You cant imagine how strangely liberating it felt and how much fun i had.You just cant miss out!

WOMAD!!

Womad was a blast.With david,bert and serene.Had a hell lot of fun with all the performances.You gotta be there to experience it yourself.I will definitely be back there next year.For those who can still make it.Go tmr!Its the last day.Very interesting and its definitely something different.You wont feel like you are in stifling Singapore.Its a completely diff side of Singapore that you just have to experience.I spent a hell lot of money.A grand total of 103 bucks.I dont know if it was all worth it but it was fun.Oh...got a playboy bunny tattoo.Haha.

ps:tattoo is a fake...spray on.haha.what a spoiler.

time and place,seasons of change

Life is filled with goodbyes.Goodbyes that mean change,goodbyes that mean distance,goodbyes that bring tears and pain.

This year has been filled with saying goodbye.Saying goodbye to the comfort and shelter of school and of being a teen to the many friends and memories that AC held for me.It left me with a sense of loss and every now and then,waves of nostalgia would sweep over me and I would be pining for school and all my friends.Perhaps having to say goodbye when I was having the time of my life would make me treasure the times more and make me appreciate everything that I have and I had.It meant closing one chapter of my life and opening another.A chapter full of drama and tears.A chapter that I want to close at the end of this year.A chapter that I would never look back at.A goodbye that meant change from shelter to the harsh realities of life that up till now,I still struggle to cope with.

Recently,a few of my friends had to see goodbye to the person that they loved.To the person that meant the world to them but ended up crashing that world of theirs.Its the hardest thing to have to hear, "I dont love you anymore" or to have to break off a relationship that has had so much invested in it.But love isnt forever.To me love is such a paradox.A double edged sword.It can make your day and it can make you feel like shit.It sucks.It really does but sometimes,having to say goodbye is for the better or saying goodbye is not forever.Nothing is never really the end unless you decide that it is.

This month is a season of goodbyes.Goodbyes to friends who pack up 19-20 years of their lives to create a future for themselves overseas.Goodbyes that meant distance which although technology could shorten,technology cannot eliminate.Having to say goodbye to these people that meant so much to me,that made my life something to look forward to left me with a sense of loss and maybe displacement.But saying goodbye is inevitable although undesirable.For those who leave,they say goodbye too.Goodbye to everything that they are leaving behind,to everything that is familiar and comfortable.

I hate goodbyes.But sometimes its for the better.And with every goodbye,comes a hello.Hello to all things new and different.We are the directors and writers of our own lives.Let every goodbye be followed by a hello.

my very random thoughts...

"Friends Forever":Whoever came up with that is a delusional idiot living in a world of Utopia where love is a box of chocolates and a bouquet of roses.The way I see it, friends forever doesnt consider how friends have to part ways.Keeping contact over different time zones,different continents and across the pacific ocean.Friends forever,having friends with you as we each progress along the stages of our lives.But reality bites when friends forever is catching up with friends of coffee or lunch as we each progress at our own pace at our very different stages in life.Does friends forever make us feel empty or a bit lost whenever we have to say goodbye?Is it really friends forever?Or Friends forever but hardly ever together?To those friends who have left and are leaving:The place that you take in each of your friends lives can never be replaced,you'll be missed.Missed a hell lot.

"Finding me":The many times I have felt so lost.Not known who I am,what I want,even forgotten what I was and maybe where I came from.The many times,I used money to replace the void in my everyday life.Everytime,I have felt lost,I have tried to find.Find myself.But the more I try to find,the more I feel lost.Yet,maybe the key is not to find ourselves.People change,we change.Let our life events determine who and what we are.If we keep putting ourselves in moulds and casts,we will lose ourselves even more.

Had dinner on wed with the girls and later drinks with the girls and Andre at Robertson Quay.Dinner was at Sketches and drinks was a bottle of white wine at Wine Connection.Thanks girls and Andre for the dinner and the drinks.To the girls for buying me dinner and for the wonderful company,even though Cherie Toh was still asleep at about 7pm.Really had a great time that night,getting tipsy and all with the wine.haha.Very nice wine and cheese that kept Val nibbling on the cheese the whole time.We gotta go back there soon.Thanks lots girls and Andre.

Its so hard to see someone leave. To have to say goodbye to the friends that mean so much to me.Its even harder when you have been spending so much time with them,almost every week that they become almost like family.Its a struggle when you know that they are pursuing their interests and you want to be happy for them,yet at the same time seeing them leave is like having something torn out of you.

Friends who have always been there along your side when you needed the help and encouragement.Friends who spend time with you whenever your free,who seem to value friendship above money,where no amount of money can ever match up to the value of friendship.

To Ben and Mel...It was hard to see you guys leave today.It seems like yesterday that we were arranging for another of those lunches where ben would always whip out his credit card before I do.Somehow,I didnt really know what to say and well wishes just didnt seem like it did justice to the times where we hung out together. I cant thank you enough for all those lunches,the gifts and the time and fellowship.Its really hard to say goodbye cos you guys have somehow really become a part of me.Will miss all the dumb things that we talk about,how we fight over who should pay for lunch even though Ben ends up paying everything,Ben forever making fun of mel's size.I will never forget the trick you guys pulled on me with the "postcard" and the 50bucks.Sneaky buggers!Haha.

Take care of each other and dont go hanky panky.Hopefully,we will see each other real soon.If 1 year is soon.Play hard first then study hard.

Friends come and go.We make new ones at every stage of our lives,lose some,strengthen present ones.And even though some are not physically around,it doesnt change much.We still keep them as friends and maybe strenghten that friendship.My dear wise friend of a seniors told me this:"Life is filled with goodbyes,but be comforted that these goodbyes are not permanent".Honestly, the roles that friends play in our lives cannot be filled with another when they say goodbye.But we learn to get by and appreciate them even more.

PS:Mel...your not a fat cow.haha.But dont become one!

of balls and brains...

disclaimer:please excuse the seemingly profane and some what crude language if any.haha

There is something that I just cannot understand.Why do guys constantly have to prove their manhood?Somehow or other their manhood is linked to the size of the penis or its seemingly very effective function.It really baffles me.After being in the army for the past 7 months.All I ever hear guys talk about is girls girls girls girls girls.Every girl that either walks past or appears in any publication from The Straits Times to MAXIM has a vital stats assessed and judged like she is in a modelling competition.And every head turner is supposedly become an object of sexual desire.Every other guy seems to be an expert on beauty and sex.And the source of judement?Comes from none other than what lies beneath-beneath the pants.

Every other guy seems compelled to narrate his sexual conquests to his guy friends the next day or to boast that he always goes to whore houses and thinks that by bringing you there you have seen the world.Unless one tells me that geylang looks like Paris,Rome,London or Greece,let me just debunk that statement that somehow makes you more of a man.First of all,whore houses are not sexual conquests.Paying for sex definitely does not put you in the hall of fame of someone who is sexually competent.On the other hand,one should be ashamed that he cant even get a one night stand with any other girl at a club and has to pay to get some lustful loving.Not that I approve of one night stands,but having to pay for something that you cant get on your own.You should be ashamed!

How can guys lust over a girl with big boobs in a bikini in a magazine?Not that lust is not normal.But surely the way its done is completely and ridiculously overrated.How can one keep going on and on about the size of a woman's boobs and lead on to a sexual fantasy?If you really like one so big,go smother yourself in the watermelon or some pillows.

Dont get me wrong.I am not a prude and definitely not gay.But surely such display of lust and raging hormones is overrated and while some guys may think that it makes them of a man.I think you should trash that thought before it dashes your hopes of even snagging that cleaning lady.It degrades you into a sex maniac.And if girls really wanted to marry a sex maniac,they would marry a porn star.

The birthday wishes from the guys.Really cool t-shirt from sidewalk by graniph.Not very cheap.Almost 50bucks.Dont ask me about the Chippendales calendar though.It was a big joke on their part. It was damn embarressing holding a calendar of half naked men walking around orchard road.They refused to allow me to put it in any of their bags or plastic bags.(I had neither) Finally,went down to taka and asked for a bag to put the thing in.

Been one hell of a shopping day.Finally got my gifts for ben and mel.Damn stressful shopping.Wonder why I even liked to shop in the first place.Never ever will I go into a shop that i full of highly charged women ready to flash their credit cards.Its like being in a lions den.