The weekends always pass damn fast and the weekdays always crawl.It gets worse and worse each week.I always ask myself if there is something i can really change to make everything better.I want to, but something is hindering it.Maybe I really need help.But where do I start?There are just so many things for me to think about.Everyone I talk to thinks I just need to stay positive and it sounds so easy but it is not.I know I may seem to have a better lot compared to the rest and it is now not so physically tough.But I hate that place more than I hated bmt and I feel more and more miserable and uneasy as each days pass.Chaos seems to rule my life and everyday passes like a blur with no meaning and I cant stand it.I want to listen to people who tell me to just accept it and go with it but I cant.Maybe Ian is right,I shouldnt,because it would mean compromising who I am.Or does it just mean making my life easier.I am starting to question my beliefs,God and what everyone tells me.Am I just too stubborn?