So...I am back for the long weekend after a few days in my new unit at Sembawang Airbase.I am still not sure if it is the posting that I was praying for but I cant tell now can I?They say its going to get tougher each week.Frankly,I am afraid.Afraid of reliving my recruit days all over again.Then again,I dont know how tough is tough especially when we are realy an unfit bunch.

Met up with Joel and the guys.Joel in OCS,Sean in sispec,Bert going to Australia for his air grading,David a clerk in MDC and Tris the pre-enlistee.It seems to be getting harder and harder to meet up and we are all splitting up.Joel and Sean were talking about how they were not enjoying themselves and how their life isnt great.I knew that although they might have wanted some words of comfort,just listening would be the best thing.I have been through the whole BMT thing where sometimes,all I need is someone to listen as an outlet for my frustrations.I miss the old days where we would be talking about everything but army.Nowadays we are all talking about army this,army that.I miss the old days where we would all happily troop down to town to go shopping.We dont have the luxury of time nowdays.I really miss my old life,where I didnt have to worry about getting punished for every small little thing.When they say NS is being a slave for the nation it is true.Not only are you branded as a "slave" with your shaved head and 11B,you also give your time to them by staying in camp,you do whatever you are told and for every little bit,like slaves,we are punished harshly.Apparently the cover up is that it is all about discipline.Sometimes when I think about it,I cant help but have this feeling of rage that is within me.The feeling of hatred.I wonder where everything went.EVERYTHING that I used to enjoy and again,I have to settle for what is given.