When I was in school,I studied war literature.And the common theme in the many books was catharsis.How writing and sharing of the soliders war experiences would help them to move on as it would act as a release for them.These men had to be encouraged to talk about their experiences because they would often be withdrawn.
Traditionally, men when they are boys are taught to show no emotion.As boys,we have been taught that that "boys dont cry" and to be able to "suck it up like a man".Crying therefore has been a taboo as being men,we are supposed to be masculine, defend and support women and children.Even till today,men still subscribe to the traditional notions of manhood and as a result,are often unwilling to talk about any problems or insecurities.I feel, for the very simple reason that it makes them look weak.Not that men are supposed to shed tears at the snap of a finger,but that tears are not a sign of weakness.
In an article that I read in readers digest,the writer said that most men are far more insecure than they reveal themselves to be.A lot of insecurity is hidden behind stoic and "devil may care" attitude that men portray.Men traditionally and even now,are supposed to be empowered,be able to provide stability for their family and to hold their family together.I think this places pressure on men today to be able to follow what traditional notions dictate them to be.This creates insecurity and vulnerablilty.Its hard for men to be able to share insecurities and problems as no one wants to seem like a weaker being in front of the other.
Personally,this has become an issue.I used to be perfectly comfortable with sharing my various and extensive insecurities and problems.To the extent that I became consumed with them and it turned to self pity.The day I got better was the day I stopped feeling sorry for myself.There is definitely no doubt that I drive myself crazy going over my problems in my head.I do believe in sharing problems to let other share the load.However,the issue is that I am no longer comfortable with showing that I am vulnerable.Every guy likes to feel empowered and not crippled by insecurities.Besides,I think people have grown tired of hearing about me. Its not that I will be completly withdrawn,but I think it will be more of how much I am willing to share and talk about.
I think as men or guys, traditional notions still play a very strong role in dictating who we are supposed to be in societies point of view.While we have to be strong and macho.We need to be honest about how we really feel.Insecurities are part of everyones life and its ok to discuss it.Its just a very fine line to solving and and being consumed by it.
Traditionally, men when they are boys are taught to show no emotion.As boys,we have been taught that that "boys dont cry" and to be able to "suck it up like a man".Crying therefore has been a taboo as being men,we are supposed to be masculine, defend and support women and children.Even till today,men still subscribe to the traditional notions of manhood and as a result,are often unwilling to talk about any problems or insecurities.I feel, for the very simple reason that it makes them look weak.Not that men are supposed to shed tears at the snap of a finger,but that tears are not a sign of weakness.
In an article that I read in readers digest,the writer said that most men are far more insecure than they reveal themselves to be.A lot of insecurity is hidden behind stoic and "devil may care" attitude that men portray.Men traditionally and even now,are supposed to be empowered,be able to provide stability for their family and to hold their family together.I think this places pressure on men today to be able to follow what traditional notions dictate them to be.This creates insecurity and vulnerablilty.Its hard for men to be able to share insecurities and problems as no one wants to seem like a weaker being in front of the other.
Personally,this has become an issue.I used to be perfectly comfortable with sharing my various and extensive insecurities and problems.To the extent that I became consumed with them and it turned to self pity.The day I got better was the day I stopped feeling sorry for myself.There is definitely no doubt that I drive myself crazy going over my problems in my head.I do believe in sharing problems to let other share the load.However,the issue is that I am no longer comfortable with showing that I am vulnerable.Every guy likes to feel empowered and not crippled by insecurities.Besides,I think people have grown tired of hearing about me. Its not that I will be completly withdrawn,but I think it will be more of how much I am willing to share and talk about.
I think as men or guys, traditional notions still play a very strong role in dictating who we are supposed to be in societies point of view.While we have to be strong and macho.We need to be honest about how we really feel.Insecurities are part of everyones life and its ok to discuss it.Its just a very fine line to solving and and being consumed by it.
posted by tim at 12:31 PM
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