The past few days at home have been absolutely wonderful.Being home gives me this sense of comfort and peace,something that I do not feel everyday.I am no longer myself and even thought I am at home or out with friends,there are times when this feeling of depression sweeps me over.I have no idea what to do or what to say anymore.Either for a lack of ability to express myself or because I am just so weary emotionally.This thing is really eating me.

Where is God in all this?Where do I include God?Honestly,I have not and I have made God absent from all this.When the darkness overwhelms you throughout the day and when you are put through trials and testings,God just seems so far away and I have over the past few months drifted further and further away from God.Someone told me to always keep God in sight no matter what.Sometimes its hard.I told myself,I would be able to.But its hard and I am just very tired off all this.I just need a break away from everything.A break where I do not have to worry about army,where no one talks about army,where I can just be happy.If your tired of listening to me whine,so am I. I don't know what to say anymore.I really want to just run away from everything,to just run from all my problems,to just escape from this world.