The past few days off have been wonderful.I have gotten to spend time with the family,spend time at home,finally be able to take a warm shower everytime I bathe,catch up with people I have been so detached from in more than 1 way.Be able to eat good food and be in an environment that is full of warmth and love.It was nice to be able to see mom and dad and I really do treasure them a lot more now.I used to think that mom always liked to nag,but now,I just appreciate all the nagging and all the love that she showers upon me,Dad,for the many things that he does for me and the many encouraging messages he has sent me over the 12days that i was in camp.Went to the Hong Kong dessert place with Jon on Fri for dessert.Nice dessert,although Jon was such a spoiler cos he didnt like to eat mangoes and I didnt know.Almost all the desserts have mangoes inside,in one way or another.Then had dinner at J Restaurant and Bar at M Hotel with family.Food wasnt all that great but I still enjoyed the Jap buffet.Today was spent mostly at home,sleeping and met the gang for dessert at Big O.Although it might seem like part of everyday life for some of you,it has been a real treat for me.
Some people ask me why I do not like the army.I would like to ask how you like being treated like dogs most of the time?Those in power give you orders that you are expected to carry out with no room for error.Errors are punishable or even chargable through military law.Everything that you do,is dictated by people.You no l0nger have control over your own life.And to me,this loss of control has made me feel useless and that life has no purpose or meaning at all.This isnt how I want my life to feel.I want my life to feel like it counts for something.That even if I make a mistake,I still mean something as a person,not as a machine that is expected to churn out perfect products.For area cleaning,we are worse off then maids.Maids are usually given the whole day if not half a day to clean the whole house with the wide range of cleaning items at their disposals.We get little time,little cleaning materials and are expected to clean out every nook and crany off dust. And maids are paid more than we are being paid.
I do not have to go through army to be a man or to be more matured.As cocky as this may sound,I have faith in my own maturity,that has been cultivated over the years,in scouts,prefects and in council.Whoever says that going through physically demanding activitieswould make me a man?What has physically toughness have to do with my manhood?What has it got to do with my maturity.Sometimes,I question the maturity of those in army and those who have been through army.Being able to stand physically toughness is not everything.What matters most is ones' life experiences and how he reacts to people around him.Some of the strongest or physically toughest people may just be one of the weakest person.So army making a man out of a boy?I dont believe.I am sure I am more of a man than some people in the army.
Many people have told me to just take each day as it comes and to just accept it and not complain because it is something that I have to do.But I cant.Basically because this attitude is too nonchalent for me.I will never take a nonchalent attitude toward anything concerning me,my family or my friends.I am not the type of person who wants to go through a life of ignorance.Yes,no doubt ignorance is bliss but what about taking control of your life? I know I should try to adapt to whatever situation that I am in but I cant bring myself to be accepting of an environment that is full of politics,rank pulling and ego bashing. To me, my freedom and personal time is of importance, and when someone takes away something that is important to me, I wont be that forgiving or accepting.
Another 12 long days in camp when I book in tomorrow.I am going to be pulled/plucked, from where i am comfortable with. I really am dreading going back to camp.Its hard to aptly describe how I feel about it and how being in camp feels.But it is not a good feeling and I hate it.I have hate for it of high intensity.That is all I can say.
Some people ask me why I do not like the army.I would like to ask how you like being treated like dogs most of the time?Those in power give you orders that you are expected to carry out with no room for error.Errors are punishable or even chargable through military law.Everything that you do,is dictated by people.You no l0nger have control over your own life.And to me,this loss of control has made me feel useless and that life has no purpose or meaning at all.This isnt how I want my life to feel.I want my life to feel like it counts for something.That even if I make a mistake,I still mean something as a person,not as a machine that is expected to churn out perfect products.For area cleaning,we are worse off then maids.Maids are usually given the whole day if not half a day to clean the whole house with the wide range of cleaning items at their disposals.We get little time,little cleaning materials and are expected to clean out every nook and crany off dust. And maids are paid more than we are being paid.
I do not have to go through army to be a man or to be more matured.As cocky as this may sound,I have faith in my own maturity,that has been cultivated over the years,in scouts,prefects and in council.Whoever says that going through physically demanding activitieswould make me a man?What has physically toughness have to do with my manhood?What has it got to do with my maturity.Sometimes,I question the maturity of those in army and those who have been through army.Being able to stand physically toughness is not everything.What matters most is ones' life experiences and how he reacts to people around him.Some of the strongest or physically toughest people may just be one of the weakest person.So army making a man out of a boy?I dont believe.I am sure I am more of a man than some people in the army.
Many people have told me to just take each day as it comes and to just accept it and not complain because it is something that I have to do.But I cant.Basically because this attitude is too nonchalent for me.I will never take a nonchalent attitude toward anything concerning me,my family or my friends.I am not the type of person who wants to go through a life of ignorance.Yes,no doubt ignorance is bliss but what about taking control of your life? I know I should try to adapt to whatever situation that I am in but I cant bring myself to be accepting of an environment that is full of politics,rank pulling and ego bashing. To me, my freedom and personal time is of importance, and when someone takes away something that is important to me, I wont be that forgiving or accepting.
Another 12 long days in camp when I book in tomorrow.I am going to be pulled/plucked, from where i am comfortable with. I really am dreading going back to camp.Its hard to aptly describe how I feel about it and how being in camp feels.But it is not a good feeling and I hate it.I have hate for it of high intensity.That is all I can say.
posted by tim at 1:02 AM
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