I feel that lately I am not myself.I am living the life of a monster that I have created.Through my insecurities and fears of not being liked I have made myself into a monster.I dont even know myself anymore and I sometimes feel like I am losing it.I hide behind a persona which I hope everyone thinks is a riot.But in the end,I end up feeling broken and lost.

I tell people that insecurities are ok..I would like to celebrate my insecurities but I cant.I cant accept the fact that I cant ever be perfect,that I cant ever be having multiple accomplishments and that I cant ever be happy with myself.I try and be tough and I try to be whatever others want me to be.Sometimes I feel so tired but I dont know what else to do because it has been who I have been playing all this while I dont know the real me anymore.I feel frustrated and screwed up.Damn freaking screwed up.My heart feels so damn heavy.