22 months is not a long time.neither is it a short time.from day 1,i looked forward to today,where i would be officially released from full time service.i yearned for that day so much till my head often felt like it was going to burst from all the wishing and hoping.
The 22 months have been draining,exciting,full of ups and downs and full of tears and heartache.i have made myself miserable,my parents worry.i have in the process grown somewhat bitter and resentful.
22 months of wearing green has been an experience i would never forget.despite having so many struggles,i have come out a much stronger person.i have learnt and seen many things.i have seen for myself,who are the people who would stick by you,i have made wonderful friends in sam and bernie,i have seen that i can do whatever i put my mind to.i believe that i have come out more resilient more independent.
needless to say,the whole process has changed me as a person.although i somehow cant help but feel that somewhere along the way,i lost myself and i cant help but feel sorry for the loss of who i used to be.either that,or i have grown and see things from a different perspective.
Having said that,i dont regret the 22 months.i dont wish that none of it happened and i dont wish that it would have turned out another way.i believe that it was something that i had to go through and i cannot be anymore satisfied with the way things have worked out for me.
At the end of all this,i only have this to say.ever so often,we are blinded by what we want and what we desire and in the middle of a storm,the only thing we can ever see are the raindrops and the lightning bolts before us.we just have to sit through the storm.of course,everything i say now is in retrospect.but having the bravery,courage and resilience is something that only we can unlock from within us.
and after all this,i can only hope that i am prepared for what is to come and that somehow,i would be able to get back the joy that was in me,to erase the bitterness and resentment.the close of one chapter, the start of something better.
The 22 months have been draining,exciting,full of ups and downs and full of tears and heartache.i have made myself miserable,my parents worry.i have in the process grown somewhat bitter and resentful.
22 months of wearing green has been an experience i would never forget.despite having so many struggles,i have come out a much stronger person.i have learnt and seen many things.i have seen for myself,who are the people who would stick by you,i have made wonderful friends in sam and bernie,i have seen that i can do whatever i put my mind to.i believe that i have come out more resilient more independent.
needless to say,the whole process has changed me as a person.although i somehow cant help but feel that somewhere along the way,i lost myself and i cant help but feel sorry for the loss of who i used to be.either that,or i have grown and see things from a different perspective.
Having said that,i dont regret the 22 months.i dont wish that none of it happened and i dont wish that it would have turned out another way.i believe that it was something that i had to go through and i cannot be anymore satisfied with the way things have worked out for me.
At the end of all this,i only have this to say.ever so often,we are blinded by what we want and what we desire and in the middle of a storm,the only thing we can ever see are the raindrops and the lightning bolts before us.we just have to sit through the storm.of course,everything i say now is in retrospect.but having the bravery,courage and resilience is something that only we can unlock from within us.
and after all this,i can only hope that i am prepared for what is to come and that somehow,i would be able to get back the joy that was in me,to erase the bitterness and resentment.the close of one chapter, the start of something better.
posted by tim at 1:16 AM
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