I have never believed that anyone could be a constant in my life.No friend,no lover,no partner.To the extent that I am skeptical that even family members can be a constant in my life.Because of that,I have almost always never allowed anyone to get too close to me.As I always felt the need to protect myself and my interest.By allowing this wall to come up around me as this fortress of protection,it has in the process caused a rift between me and those around me.I dont let myself loose as easily as I would like to or as much as friends would like me to.I have hardened myself in the process.lately I wonder if I am hurting myself even more.